UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.

 

Justice Kennedy Retires, Coat Hanger Manufacturers Rejoice

Justice Kennedy Retires, Coat Hanger Manufacturers Rejoice

Today, Justice Kennedy announced his retirement from the Supreme Court, effective July 31st. Kennedy, a Republican who enjoyed playing the role of the “neutral/swing vote” when it suited him, was an important member of the Court, providing the deciding opinion on rulings like Obergefell v. Hodges, a.k.a “The One That Lets Gay People Get Married.”

Given the GOP’s stated goal of turning back the clock on Roe v. Wade, a.k.a. “The Abortion One,” this is a major win for those who oppose abortion. Any American possessed of a uterus and/or a conscience quickly expressed outrage with varying levels of expletives. Many urged the Democrats in Congress to block the appointment of any new Justices, which, in the current political climate, is impossible, or to express their rage at anyone who could not bring themselves to vote for Hillary Clinton.

 

 

However, not everyone was so dismayed. Back Alley Hangers CEO Rich Trustfund took to Twitter, delightedly tweeting, “This will certainly give a boost to one section of the American economy! #MAGA!”

Trustfund recently announced that he was opening a new factory in China to manufacture the company’s signature wire coat hangers.

 

 
Saudi Woman Is First In Nation To Drive To Her Own Execution

Saudi Woman Is First In Nation To Drive To Her Own Execution

Mueller Investigation: Russians Influenced Trump Using ‘Nigerian Prince’ Scam

Mueller Investigation: Russians Influenced Trump Using ‘Nigerian Prince’ Scam