Los Angeles, CA -- Jackson family patriarch Joe Jackson could not beat death today, as much as he tried, succumbing to the grim reaper in his sleep.
The music manager was dogged by allegations of physical and emotional abuse throughout his life. As the very hands-on father of superstars Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson, the elder Jackson carried much weight in the music industry.
“I’m undefeated baby,” said the cocky heavyweight Death. “It’s especially pleasing when you can take down one of the bad guys. I did a number on him. Let’s just say he’s done baby.”
Death had more to say. “I work very closely with Karma. Somehow we missed this one for a while. I’m always on the ball, but you know Karma, sometimes she’s a real, you know.”
Jackson will surely be reunited with Michael, perhaps for all of eternity.