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Sucking On Soccer Balls

Sucking On Soccer Balls

For those who may not know or even bother to notice, the FIFA World Cup has commenced as of last week and what better way to celebrate the better half of Pride Month than with a worldwide competition dedicated to sweaty men running after each other in shorts. As America’s afterthought, this event does not receive the hype it deserves in the States.

Though I myself am not a sports fanatic, I still have the capacity to appreciate dedication, vigor and camaraderie. As each team zealously fights their way to the top, patriotic fans clamor for attention. Super fan Nissu Cauti from Peru has promised to flash her hot tamales every time her team scores a goal. Speaking of tamales, In Mexico City the bacchanalian party reached seismic proportions when it was said to have triggered an earthquake. Colombia almost shut down for a day after Carlos Sanchez had received a red card within minutes of their match against Japan. Threats were made against his life. Does anybody want to be around when a Colombian gets angry?

As for America, we’ll gladly take our loses with a bottle of Budweiser or Blue Moon and talk about how Trump is making America great again and how we don’t need to win any stupid soccer (fútbol) competition to prove it. In New York, the games have not even registered to many Dominicans and Puerto Ricans as it just so happens that baseball is their bailiwick. And Italy didn’t make it this year, so you can fugetaboutit. However, it is possible that with a sizable Panamanian population in Brooklyn and Colombians in Queens you could catch a local crowd at their favorite corner bar losing their fricking minds.

 

 

It is hard to Imagine Americans appreciating the sentiments of soccer (fútbol). It’s a high intensity, high velocity sport with a high probability of injuries or penalties, all to end up with a very low scoring game and very little payoff, and to, very likely, end up settling with a tie in the end. Americans wouldn’t show up to work the next day if the Super Bowl ended in a tie.

With this, we must ask ourselves what do we as Americans value in our athleticism? Because we can stand a few broken bones and bloodshed which happens in soccer (fútbol) just as often in any major American sport. But we need to know there is a loser at the end of all this, we did not ride this hard for capitalism just so we can end up settling for equity in our sports. Yeah...no.

 

Photo by Mahdi Zare/Fars News Agency  ||  CC-BY 4.0 International

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