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ESPN Boss Apologizes For Fortnite Gamer Body Issue

ESPN Boss Apologizes For Fortnite Gamer Body Issue

Bristol, CT -- New ESPN president Jimmy Pitaro apologized late yesterday for the company’s trademark magazine featuring several out of shape and sickly-looking professional gamers in compromising photos for its new “ESPN The Body Issue: Gamer Edition” available now.

“We have given gaming it’s due respect with upcoming programming targeting eSports and we’re absolutely all in,” Pitaro told us from his offices overlooking the company parking lot in Bristol. “So yeah, we validated it as a ‘real sport,’ but maybe we went a little too far with this new Bodies issue.”

“It’s gross,” said longtime ESPN personality Chris Berman. “Yeah that’s me saying it’s disgusting. If I think I have a better body than these guys, then maybe they shouldn't have put out this rag.” We’re not sure how we got pulled into this Berman interview or why he was just hanging out at the reception couch area, but there was really no way out of the conversation at this point.

“Back, back, back, back...home run!” Berman told us as he stared silently at the empty wall beside us. “When [John] Skipper was in charge here, we would watch Al ‘Cigarette’ Leiter bringing the heat as he went high and inside to Jay ‘Ferris’ Buhner and Jon Kitna ‘Kaboodle’ would sling the old skin. You know what I mean, right?”

Yes, Chris. We know what you mean.

 

 
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