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Trump To Follow Triumphant Space Force Announcement With New 'Water Force,' Unaware Of Navy

Trump To Follow Triumphant Space Force Announcement With New 'Water Force,' Unaware Of Navy

Washington D.C. - After shocking the world with his order to create a sixth branch of the military, the “Space Force,” President Donald Trump is seemingly on a roll. Today, in a statement from the Oval Office, Trump announced the creation of the seventh branch of the military, creatively titled the “Water Force.” 

“Many scientists on the Discovery Channel, and on the Science Channel,” the president started, “say that our oceans are big. Huge even. So big that they have not been explored all the way yet. Like space, kind of.”

“So that is why we need to expand the military to the oceans, but not only for exploration, but for domination. We are going to dominte water, and everything that calls it home.”

Attending press all had a severe look of confusion on their faces and were all obviously extremely anxious to ask the president if he knew what the Navy was.

But key advisors, standing behind the president, were all silently shushing the press and pantomime begging to them to “just let this one slide.” 

“We don’t know what’s out there yet, we don’t fully understand what water is made of, and we are going to find out. And bless our military, they have just told me today, that they have already made hundreds of years of advancements on this ‘Sea Force,’ in just the few hours since I told them I wanted it created.”     

The president ended the press briefing by saying, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”

      

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore  ||  CC-BY-2.0-SA

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Found Alone On Floor Eating Entire Gay Wedding Cake Following Restaurant Ouster

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Found Alone On Floor Eating Entire Gay Wedding Cake Following Restaurant Ouster

FLOTUS Spokesperson: Melania 'Be Best' English Reader But Missed That Whole Jacket Thing

FLOTUS Spokesperson: Melania 'Be Best' English Reader But Missed That Whole Jacket Thing