Source: New York Times Reporter Is Totally Banging Me
Washington, DC -- A close source confirms he is “absolutely totally 100% banging” a New York Times reporter and “definitely willing to trade more secrets for insider info with anyone else that is down,” this according to the source himself.
The source, for fear of losing “that sweet, sweet reporter tang,” would not allow us to reveal his identity. In a nearly three year affair, the source has leaked several major national security details to an unnamed New York Times journalist in exchange for what has to be some real primo beaver.
“Quid pro quo, baby” the source told us. “Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. Well, not your back, hee hee.” Numerous reporters for The Flake News returned bracelets mailed to each following this interview. The source was very open about his current relationship and his attraction to journalists in general.
“It’s a real dangerous job. Me, I sit at a desk all day. I need a rush. That’s why I leak. You know, I can make everyone in this room leak real bad, if you know what I mean.”
The creepy source was not asked back again to our offices.
Photo by JavierDo || CC-BY-SA-3.0 Unported