Sarah Huckabee Sanders Found Alone On Floor Eating Entire Gay Wedding Cake Following Restaurant Ouster
Lexington, VA -- White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was discovered shoveling nearly an entire gay wedding cake, stolen earlier in the evening from an unsuspecting wedding party, down her big mouth-hole following her ouster from Red Hen restaurant.
Huckabee Sanders was nearly unresponsive and covered in icing as family and friends rushed to her aid, prompting patriarch Mike Huckabee to perform last rites over his daughter’s lifeless body. The former governor was soon upset to learn his daughter was munching on a gay wedding cake, as opposed to a legitimate and rightful one in the eyes of our Lord.
“Why, oh why was it a cake belonging to homosexuals,” the elder Huckabee scolded his daughter as she lay in shame with the cake topper of two men holding hands hanging from her hair. He screamed toward the ceiling, “We’re a good Christian family, what hath we done to deserve this Satan-cake covering my daughter’s chin?”
The press secretary was reportedly livid and extremely upset after restaurant owner Stephanie Wilkinson asked her to leave. How exactly Huckabee Sanders ended up with the cake alone on her living room floor is unknown.