FLOTUS Spokesperson: Melania 'Be Best' English Reader But Missed That Whole Jacket Thing
There was public outrage when the First Lady was seen wearing a jacket saying, ‘I REALLY DON’T CARE, DO U?’ during her recent visit to Texas. She was scheduled to meet with some of the separated illegal immigrant children in their new baby cages. It was just supposed to be a casual meeting between immigrants, but quickly went south when word got out about her controversial attire. One woman had some serious choice words for the first lady. “Are you ------- serious? Like what the actual ----?” We actually had to hold her back.
We then asked Melania why she had chosen such an offensive jacket. She looked genuinely confused and began to take it off. “There’s something on my jacket?” We showed her the writing on the back and she was still rather confused. Apparently the jacket had been a gift from her husband a few days prior. She had neglected to pick a different jacket because she hadn’t actually read it. According to many sources, there’s only a 50/50 chance that she can actually read English.
Some sources believe it was a conspiracy to shame the first lady. “It was definitely the Democrats. They must have snuck into her hotel room and painted the words on. It’s the only logical answer,” said one insider. Others believe it was her husband. “It's probably the president. Did you see the misspelled words? Only Trump has such bad grammar.”
When we asked the president to comment on the matter he announced, “I have never been more proud of my wife. She ended up being a great distraction from everything I'm doing. Wait, you’re recording this? I never said that. Fake news!”