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President Trump Declares US Bankrupt: 'I Am The Best At Bankruptcy'

President Trump Declares US Bankrupt: 'I Am The Best At Bankruptcy'

Washington, DC -- Drawing on his extensive experience in business, President Donald Trump officially filed for bankruptcy on behalf of the United States today. "Every company I've ever run has gone through this," the president said in a press conference on the south lawn. "That makes me smart."

Economists have argued that not only is this not smart, but bankruptcy and national debt don't work like that. The White House issued an official response to these challenges, saying all economists are "haters and losers." 

This move was met with mixed reactions in Congress. "The president is again failing the American people," said Senator Chuck Schumer of New York. "This will not only hurt working families but worst of all it will make us look weak to Russia. And that's what really matters."

 

 

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell defended the move. "Look, we didn't have any plans to pay for that tax cut anyway," he said while hurriedly packing a suitcase. "At least this puts all our cards on the table with the American people. I'm hoping that keeps them distracted." He then immediately hailed a cab to catch a flight out of the country.

Paul Ryan could not be reached for comment because he has given up.

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore  ||  CC-BY-SA-2.0

Satan Changes Name To Tom Hanks: Follows Monsanto's Lead

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Sessions’ Bible Studies Raises Difficult Questions for Trump

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