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Melania And The Baby Snatchers: Letters From Melania

Melania And The Baby Snatchers: Letters From Melania

 Dear Melania,


I am so worried about your husband. I saw him on TV almost crying because he couldn't keep taking babies away from their parents. Is there a shortage of children in America? Does your constitution require the president to make sure the population grows?


I imagine he is now a handful. Best of luck,


Ludmilla

Dear Ludmilla,


Donald has been ranting for three days now about this. “I am a strong man! I am a leader!” He made me get out his Superman costume from Halloween 2014 so he could run around the residence with the cape flowing in the breeze. Fortunately, he tires easily at his weight and age, so I sat him down and I gave him a bottle of apple juice.


That was a mistake. He had trouble opening it with his tiny, weak hands. So, I had do it for him. That set him off all over again. “I loosened it for you! It wouldn't come off because Rachel Maddow glued it shut! Everyone knows imported apple juice is harder to open! USA! USA! USA!”


Take my advice, Ludmilla, never marry for money. You can always borrow it from a loan shark at a better price.


Love,


Melania

 

Stoned, Roger  ||  The Flake Artist Spotlight

Stoned, Roger || The Flake Artist Spotlight

Melania Wears 'I Heart White Babies' Jacket To Harlem

Melania Wears 'I Heart White Babies' Jacket To Harlem