UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.

 

Children Of A Lesser God

Children Of A Lesser God

If you believe ripping immigrant children away from their parents and storing them in an abandoned Walmart with left over Chia Pets from last Christmas is barbaric and immoral, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions and Sarah Huckabee Sanders would like you to know Jesus is cool with it. Not surprisingly, Beauregard's cherry-picking of the Bible was met with some pushback. Reporters, politicians and late-night talk show hosts were armed and ready to shoot Beauregard straight to Hell with Bible readings of their own. It was entertaining, but completely unnecessary. Once a person aligns with Donald Trump, they immediately forgo all the non-refundable Jesus points they've collected over the years. Trump is the least Jesus-y president in history and I think Thomas Jefferson was an atheist. 

This reminds of a song I learned in Sunday School as a child:

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in his sight

As a child I thought it was sweet. As an adult I think, “Wow. That's messed up.” They seriously taught children to refer to people as “red” and “yellow.” Jesus loves all children regardless of race, but it's okay to use creepy racial slurs. It's a bit of a mixed message. 

With all this Bible talk I can't help but wonder:  Are we not doing separation of church and state any more? I mean, did we just forget it's a thing? We should really start using it again. I think it would be more effective than everyone reading the Bible at each other. When Sarah Huckabee Sanders claims throwing babies in a discount bin on top of dusty old Tickle Me Elmo dolls is Biblical, we can say, “No, Sarah, you must defend your abhorrent actions on their own merits. There is a reason for separation of church and state. Neither Elmo nor abandoned Walmarts are mentioned in the Bible. That's the reason.”

 

 
Nobel Peace Prize Committee's Letter To Donald Trump

Nobel Peace Prize Committee's Letter To Donald Trump

Trump Announces Plans To Create Border Gulags To Solve Immigration Woes

Trump Announces Plans To Create Border Gulags To Solve Immigration Woes