UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.

 

Deplorable Basket People

Deplorable Basket People

So Roseanne was canceled because Roseanne took some Benadryl or something and it made her racist. While Roseanne was busy Tylenol Tweeting, a stone cold sober Samantha Bee called Ivanka Trump the “C” word. And the entire cable news world has spent a week debating which is worse. I believe I can answer this as my memory span is longer than that of the average cable news cycle. Roseanne is worse because when racists feel emboldened deplorable things happen. Things like the Charlottesville riot, which happened less than a year ago.

 

Let us take a look back at Trump's response to Charlottesville.

 

"We condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry and violence, on many sides. On many sides. It's been going on for a long time in our country. Not Donald Trump, not Barack Obama. This has been going on for a long, long time." 

 

I guess it was nice of him to take the blame off Obama, even though no one was blaming Obama. As a matter of fact, we got through eight years under the first African American president without a single Klan riot. Yet, six months of Trump and not only did the Klan take to the streets with machine guns and pepper spray, they did so without hiding their faces behind creepy hoods. Which is kind of a double-edged sword. On one hand, it's really freaky Klan members aren't afraid to be exposed. On the other hand, we know who's in the Klan. For decades we had to kind of guess if someone was a Klan member and if we guessed wrong, it was awkward. 

 

Many people blamed Trump for the attack in Charlottesville. You know, because he was completely to blame for the attack in Charlottesville. Trump announced his candidacy for president by declaring Mexicans are rapists. That's the kind of rhetoric that really speaks to the heart of the average Klan member. 

 

A mere five months into his candidacy, he tweeted phony crime statistics pinning the majority of murders in the country on African Americans. If black people were murdering at such high rates, I think they would have killed off the Klan by now. 

 

Trump appointed Jefferson Beauregard Sessions as attorney general. Jefferson Beauregard Sessions still had slaves working on his plantation until the early 1990s. That's not true, but it totally sounds like it is. And it sounds like it is because Jefferson Beauregard Sessions once referred to the NAACP as “un-American” and “communist-inspired.” Which reminds me, I need to write an open letter to Mitch McConnell.

 

Dear Mitch McConnell,

 

Remember when Elizabeth Warren was trying to read a letter by Coretta Scott King during Session's confirmation hearing and you were a total prick and cut her off?

 

Yeah, that's not going away any time soon. Good times.

 

Kind Regards,
Jennifer Loy

 

Trump's Senior Policy Adviser, Stephen Miller, once accused Maya Angelou of “racial paranoia.” Please excuse me while I write an open letter to Stephen Miller.

 

Dear Stephen Miller,

 

You can tell us why the caged bird sings once you're in prison for treason with the rest of the deplorables.

 

Best Wishes,
Jennifer Loy

 

In case anyone is still uncertain about Donald Trump's association with white supremacists, the Klan members were thoughtful enough to carry Trump signs and wear Trump shirts and MAGA hats while they murdered a woman in cold blood. 

 

Please excuse me while I write an open letter to Trump supporters.

 

Dear Trump Supporters,

 

Remember how you got all pissy when Hillary Clinton called you a basket of deplorables? 

 

You've got nerve.

 

Best Regards,
Jennifer Loy

 

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore  ||  CC-BY-SA 2.0

Top 10 List: Thrill-Seeking In America

Top 10 List: Thrill-Seeking In America

Trump Declares Friend Woody Johnson’s New York Jets Replacement Champions Over Eagles, Can’t Quite Keep Straight Face

Trump Declares Friend Woody Johnson’s New York Jets Replacement Champions Over Eagles, Can’t Quite Keep Straight Face