Great Uncle: May As Well Throw Away My VCR Now That Roseanne Has Been Canceled
Heartland, USA -- A visibly shaken great uncle Walter McCaskill probably should just throw away his VCR now that Roseanne is off the air, this according to Walter himself. Relatives have been begging him to get a DVR for years, but Walter has resisted.
“Well, I’m not going to be putting on the TV again anytime soon really,” said Walter, down at Dixon’s Diner for an early dinner. “I’ve got a bunch of tapes to watch I guess. Some episodes of Picket Fences I need to catch up on. That Family Ties spin-off with Nick. Peter Jennings broadcasts I haven’t seen yet. Those will do just fine for now I think, then I’ll throw away the VCR when I’m done. No use anymore.”
Walter’s nephew, Jim Sturgill, was quick to point out that Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor actor Tim Allen would soon be back on the air and change Walter’s mind. “When Last Man Standing comes back, I don’t think we’ll hear a peep out of my uncle about Roseanne. He’ll have long forgotten this dark episode once his favorite show’s back.”
Niece Tanya McCaskill would like to see Walter upgrade to at least a TiVo. “YouTube TV? Ha, forget it.” The family is hoping Walter will indeed throw away the VCR, “but not in protest. It’s just really disgusting with all those old tapes in there.”
In the meantime, Walter will wait for that familiar Tim Allen grunt.