UNBIASED POLITICAL SATIRE & HUMOR FOR SNOWFLAKES LIKE YOU.

We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.

 

Nutter's Rule

Nutter's Rule

So this nutter, Jonathan Oddi, the mad golfer—is it so unreasonable to expect some one-on-one with the most powerful man in the world, before last call with a .38 in your hand? Dimitrious Pagourtzis found it perfectly reasonable to bring his into school last week, and an .870, to gun down and kill 10 people in cold blood for no apparent reason. Maybe Oddhi’s more on par with the dumb choad who showed up at Santa Fe High immediately after, strapped with his own pistol and draped in the American flag, to "make America great again". Then again, almost sixty people can be killed in the Other Hemisphere, on the deadliest day in Gaza since 2014. No one will be held responsible, or even condemned for it before the American public turns its attentions to the Royal Family--an archaic pageant operating at the cost of 292 million pounds to taxpayers, and worth 88 billion besides. 60 dead would be a good day for a nutter like Stephen Paddock, who holed himself up above the Las Vegas Strip last fall, killed 58 and himself before officers could presumably bring him into custody peacefully. What happened on the day of the U.S. Embassy opening in Israel may be grisly and macabre, but that body count is just another day in the America, and it wouldn't make a ripple in the herd concerns of popular culture.

 

Nothing will faze these nutters. We’re locked in to this scheme of murder and suffering. Jihadi John was right, we're drowning in blood and the Nutters have got the stupid strength of their convictions. Nothing is stronger than dumb and history is full of confident, well-meaning sociopaths. For all we know, everything is moving right along, perfectly and according to plan for Nutters like Paul Ryan and Mike Pence.  This is the end times jubilee Trump and Jim Bakker have had a hard-on for ever since they first read the book of Revelation.  For everything to be so corrupt and screwed, for the world to be ending right under the rulers smug and smiling faces it can only mean we are at the peak and thrall of Nutter’s Rule. What else could it be…
...when temperatures reach 119 in Amausi but the cause of climate change is still up for debate by the U.S. Science, Space and Technology Committee?
...when, as of May 18, there have been nearly as many mass shootings in the U.S. as days in the year, and even Art Acevedo has to concede.
...when the topic of debate is whether or not to allow professional football players to protest police brutality instead of actually protesting police brutality.
...when patriotism is demanded at all, especially when, as Sam Hasselby put it last week
"In many basic matters of government and society, including healthcare, public education, gender equity, social mobility and prosperity, economic fairness, childcare, environment and more, the U.S. has fallen behind most of the developed world."
...when Trump supporters are either so oblivious or just plain willfully ignorant of a piggish, racist man, they have the gall to try and gaslight an apolitical punkrocker like me.  A reader writes…"Be the change you wish to see in the opposite political party you affiliate with. If you hate Trump, what are some objective positives you could account for? How could you give credit where credit is due? If you like Trump, what are some qualities that you appreciate about the Dems?"


 
Questions like hers remind me of a tattoo on Uncle Hank Rollins' arm--LIFE IS PAIN, I WANT TO BE INSANE.  If those are my choices and that is the limited scope of mind living in the Land of the Free then our time ain't long.

 

What kind of logic can be gleaned from a jingoist cracker demanding obsequience to a country that hasn't given segments of its population justice, electricity or even clean water? What is the rhyme or reason in standing, taking off your hat and covering your heart for a paean to an oligarchy that cloisters itself from the population as they're murdered, in air-conditioned chambers plotting to keep the minimum wage froze and take your healthcare away?  There is no logic, Pal.  Nor any rhyme nor reason.  Besides, you deal with crazy too long it'll make you crazy.  Just ask Ted Nugent.  It's Nutter's Rule.  Welcome to the Planet of the Apes. 


 

This country is roiling with mass shootings and a murderous, lying police force roam city streets and suburbs killing women and children. Murder is a fact of life here, and racism is so rank and common and hidden in plain sight it can tire the mind--just like they want it to. Any good citizen should protest and take it to the streets but I don’t like confrontation and I abhor causes.  There are less and less places to hide, even for a privileged schmuck writer like me. Where could I possibly get lost in the America? What would Kerouac do?  The remote corners appeal to me, because there are less American nutters around—places like Detroit and Sofia and the third world. Unsettled or vacated frontiers where there's still some proof of craft…and folks can concentrate on the task at hand, where what you hold in your hands is a real and tangible thing, and we can think and feel and even fall in love.

 

This country is over. It’s the end of the world. Welcome to the Chinese Century.

 

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore  ||  CC-BY-SA-2.0

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