We Only Report What We Want to Hear. You Decide.


Roe Betrayed

Roe Betrayed

Roe v. Wade is a landmark Supreme Court decision giving women the freedom to make choices regarding their reproductive health with privacy and safety. This was a monumental victory for women's rights and people have been trying to overturn it for forty-five years.


Surprisingly, the people who have benefited the most from Roe v. Wade aren't women. They are politicians with the moral high ground of Charlie Sheen who need some "evil" to fight in order to convince voters they're good people.


Enter Donald Trump.


Trump has decided to defund millions from Planned Parenthood and other women's health organizations that provide abortion services. He has also banned doctors from using the word “abortion.” I'm not entirely sure how he plans to enforce that. However, I'm entirely sure he has no idea how to enforce that. 


Trump's stance on abortion has changed over time. In 1989, Trump was to host a pro-choice fundraiser at one of his hotels. He failed to make this event because he received death threats from pro-life activists. I feel the need to repeat that: death threats from pro-life activists. Trump was deeply moved by the words of the pro-life activists, specifically the words, “We will kill you.” Trump immediately changed his stance on abortion and became pro-life. And by pro-life, he means his life. He doesn't care about women or babies or anyone not named Donald J. Trump.


As we all know, Donald respects women more than anyone. We know this because he said so. In 2016, he did a town hall with Chris Hardball where he stated he would ban abortion. Women who seek abortions will be criminals under the Trump Administration and shall be burned at the stake like witches. Because women who believe they can think for themselves are obviously witches.


Oddly enough, Trump inadvertently made the best argument for abortion in this interview. During an exchange on nuclear weapons, Trump said he wouldn't rule out using nuclear weapons against Europe. Europe. I have no idea why he wants to go to war with Europe. Nor do I know why he wants to go all nuclear on their ass.


If any Trump supporters are reading this, allow me to explain some things you may not understand. Europe is a continent not a country. It's a huge land mass made up of many countries, most of which are our allies. It isn't located in the Middle East. It isn't located in Mexico. Europe didn't attack us on 9/11. Europe isn't trying to take away your guns or force you to get health insurance like that evil Obama. Nuclear war is very bad. Your guns won't protect you against nuclear weapons. It doesn't matter how good of a shot you are.


I know the pro-life people will never believe abortion leads to anything good, but consider the following. If abortion had been legal in 1946, perhaps Mary Anne Trump would have terminated that "Rosemary's Baby" in her womb. Our nation wouldn't be collectively waking up in cold sweats due to the night terrors brought on by the impending nuclear winter.


Threatening nuclear war is an awesome way to prove you're pro-life. Here are other awesome ways Trump has demonstrated how pro-life he is:


Stating he could shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and still get votes.


Threatening to take out the families of terrorists.


Threatening riots if he didn't win the republican nomination.


Threatening to rough up protesters and saying they should be carried out on stretchers.


Acknowledging desperate women will resort to back alley abortions once he's made it a crime, yet refusing to reconsider his position despite the dangerous and potentially fatal health risks this will create.


Abortion has always been legal in my lifetime. Everything I know about illegal abortions I learned from the movie Dirty Dancing.


Penny gets knocked up by Robbie the obnoxious waiter. Robbie won't admit he knocked her up because he's obnoxious. It's the sixties, so DNA testing and child support aren't options. Penny's a dancer. She can't work if she's pregnant. And she can't support the child if she can't work. Baby borrows $250 from Jerry Orbach to pay for Penny's abortion. Baby and Swayze go dancing while some traveling "doctor" tends to Penny. Baby and Swayze return to find Penny bleeding and near death. Baby wakes up Jerry Orbach who saves Penny and blames Swayze for knocking her up. Eventually, Jerry Orbach learns about Robbie the obnoxious waiter and everyone has the time of their lives.

If Trump defunds Planned Parenthood, the Pennys of today will die because Jerry Orbach is dead and can't save them.


Shut your Trumphole, Donnie. Nobody puts Baby in a corner.



Photo by Gage Skidmore  ||  CC-BY-SA-2.0

Who's In Charge? || Trump & Immigration

Who's In Charge? || Trump & Immigration

Trump’s Lawyers Seek To Limit Scope Of Mueller Interview To Just Handshakes

Trump’s Lawyers Seek To Limit Scope Of Mueller Interview To Just Handshakes