Reports: Skeptical Trump Now Growing Weary Of Upcoming Meeting With ‘Shifty North Dakotans’
Grand Forks, North Dakota -- A suspicious President Donald Trump today would neither confirm nor deny reports he is now souring on his planned potential meeting with North Dakota, raising tensions in the already testy Dakota region.
“Pretty sure he’s confusing us with the Koreas,” said local 3rd district North Dakota state representative Vic Hodges. “Sure, we have our disagreements over which is the best Dakota, which is of course the North. But we don’t need the president here for some quick photo op, that’s for sure.”
“Hodges said what now? He’s probably just jealous of our nuclear capabilities, specifically the Pathfinder Nuclear Generating Station power plant here in the South,” said Hodges’ cousin and South Dakota Community Board #4 member Craig Craigerson. “He is out of his mind. Maybe we do need that Idiot-In-Chief to come here and settle this once and for all.”
Hodges was heated after hearing Craigerson’s comments. “We are pursuing nuclear capabilities. That is well-noted. We are not at that level yet, but we’re getting there. We still have those old fallout shelters in Stark County if it gets to that point. But we’re ready. I guess we do need that moron to come here and help work out our differences.”
There is still no official word if President Trump plans to attend the Korean summit or the meeting in the Dakotas closer to home.