Letters From Melania: Hospital Break
I am so sorry to hear of your sudden medical procedure. Will you have enough money to pay for it all? I know Donald is supposed to be rich, but the American health system could even bankrupt a failed casino owner from what I hear. Should we start of crowd-funding campaign for you?
I am perfectly fine and am not sick at all. The truth is I needed a week away from the White House. You have no idea the crying, the yelling, the table pounding – and that’s just Sarah Huckabee Sanders complaining about leaks. John Bolton is even worse. When he learned he couldn’t bomb Iran right away, he tried to throw a vase across the room. Bet you didn’t know he throws like a little girl. It bumped lightly against the wall, and he started to fidget with his mustache.
Anyway, the hospital VIP suite is very nice, the staff is very attentive, and I am putting everything on the Trump Organization’s tab. I took advice from the Ferris Bueller movie we used to watch – lick the palms of your hands. It’s a non-specific symptom but I convinced the doctors to tell the world about a kidney issue.
The only thing wrong with me is that I have no plan for when I have to leave for the White House.