Puzzled Trump Not Sure If He Should Conspire With Or Against Strange Russian-ish Asian-Looking Uzbek Leader
Washington, DC -- President Donald Trump met today with Uzbek leader Shavkat Mirziyoyev, in a White House meeting insiders described as “quite confusing.”
The hullabaloo seems to stem from the president not being able to properly classify the ethnicity of “these Uzbekistans.” The president clearly did not know if he should befriend them and work together to rig the 2018 midterms, or treat them as a hostile Asian trade partner.
Trump at times threatened Mirziyoyev with new tariffs against his nation, while later asking the Uzbek leader if he had a Facebook account. “I don’t know about this Facebook thing, but I know it’s good at elections,” the president reportedly told his new frenemy. Trump never took his eyes off Mirziyoyev, ever-weary of what his next move would be.
“I’d say this was a very productive meeting. However, I am unsure why this man keeps smelling the back of my neck,” Mirziyoyev said through his translator.
“I tell you this whole neck-smelling thing, it works. It works. I know who’s who with that, let me tell you,” the president responded.