Paul Ryan Changes Position On Healthcare After 26 Million People Each Send Him A Dollar
Washington, DC - House Speaker Paul Ryan announced he will now fully support Obamacare, after years of trying to repeal the Affordable Care Act. The Speaker of the House almost succeeded last year, when the house voted to repeal the act. Paul Ryan has now switched his position after he received a single dollar from each of the 26 million Americans he was going to uninsure.
We talked with a diabetic woman named Skylar Charles. “It just seemed like a logical thing to do. All 26 million of us couldn’t each create separate Kickstarters to pay our medical bills. So we each sent Paul Ryan a dollar and hoped for the best,” Charles told us.
Paul Ryan is always a man of his word, and has said he will not pursue another repeal of Obamacare...unless the health insurance companies can come up with $26,000,001.
Ryan was seen today in his office using the bags of money for bicep curls.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is reportedly not talking to Ryan after his flip on the position, as Ryan and McConnell reportedly had a pact "until the end of days."
Ryan is set to retire at the end of his term and one last attempt at a repeal is always a possibility. It seems for now the poor might be safe. Ryan can now take his 26 million dollars and join his true love, the 1%. Together they can find other ways to avoid taxes, exploit workers and pretend they are creating jobs.
Photo by Gage Skidmore || CC-BY-SA-2.0