Kirstjen Nielsen Resignation Letter Printed On Recycled John Kelly Resignation Letter Paper
Washington, DC -- Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen has not only informed colleagues she is considering stepping down from her post following a recent meeting in which the president mercifully berated her, but has even went so far as to draft an unsigned resignation letter on recycled paper from the tattered remains of several of current White House Chief of Staff John Kelly’s many resignation letters.
Nielsen remains unsure of her next step. The Kelly protégée knows full well of the countless sleepless nights the chief of staff has experienced in the past year. She would always be the one to convince Kelly to stay with the administration, viewing him as a guiding light and shining example of someone who could reel Trump in during tumultuous times.
Nielsen saved the pieces of Kelly’s letters each time after he would rip them apart and agree to stay. Now, perhaps, it’s her turn.
While a resignation would really show the president what they think, Kelly and Nielsen have settled on the best strategy of all. One in which they constantly threaten Trump with the possibility of leaving, but always end up staying right there. Because, that’s how you really show someone what you think.
With empty threats.