Gina Haspel Tortures Senate Committee With Sadistic Barrage Of Phone Pics Of Grandchildren
Washington, DC -- President Donald Trump’s choice to fill the vacated role of CIA director, Gina Haspel, appeared before the Senate Intelligence Committee and quickly wore the senators down with her non-stop and often excruciating barrage of photos of grandchildren Timmy, Abigail and Michael.
Republicans and Democrats alike could be seen gagging and dry heaving toward the tail-end of the hearing. They had not been subjected to this amount of torture since the days of Joe Biden’s “Massage Nights” in the underground chambers of the Senate.
“This was unacceptable. I used to believe torture was an absolutely fantastic way to get completely relevant, honest and accurate information out of brown people. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m shook,” a shook Senator Jim Inhofe told reporters.
Susan Collins of Maine was disgusted. “My grandchildren, I couldn’t really care less about them. Who cares! Nobody gives a poop about your grandchildren lady, how long are you going to make us look at this crap?”
Even as senators could be seen crawling out of the hearing, Haspel did not relent. She pulled out her iPad. An audible gasp from stunned onlookers was followed by silence as the photo cascade began.