AT&T Confirms Half Million Dollar Payment To Michael Cohen Was 2004 Rebate For Motorola Razr
New York, NY -- Telecommunications giant AT&T has concluded its exhaustive search and determined with certainty that a $500,000 payment made to Michael Cohen in 2017, after his longtime client Donald Trump began his presidency, was actually for a really, really old rebate originally mishandled by the company.
“We’re just, like, so sorry to Mr. Cohen about that. He should not have had to wait so long for the rebate check from buying that Motorola Razr back in 2004. And he wrote so many letters, emails, faxes, everything. Asking when he was going to get that rebate check. So that’s why we paid him the half-a-mill. Duh,” said AT&T CEO Randall Stephenson.
“Oh, I remember how great that phone was when it came out. I had the pink one. So slim. So sleek. So in-demand. We really had to sort through all those many rebate requests. Just finished them last week actually.”
Cohen was reportedly so excited to receive the rebate last year that he immediately deposited the check into an offshore account without a trace. Even the eagle eyes of one Robert Mueller had difficulty finding it.
“So yeah, it was deposited and now we have one more happy customer. If he has anymore access, I mean rebate requests, please let us know. We really want this merger to go through,” said Stephenson.