Portly Mike Pompeo Cancels Return Trip To North Korea Amid Fears ‘It Is Not The Korea With The Good Barbeque’
Washington, DC -- As North Korean leader Kim Jong Un meets with China’s president Xi Jinping this week, Secretary of State and thick man Mike Pompeo announced the cancellation of his own delegation’s trip back to Pyongyang, amid concerns it’s “not that one Korea with the outstanding barbeque.”
“They brought all those little sides last time. It looked like nothing, but everything turned out to be fantastic,” Pompeo told us in an exclusive one-on-one. “I want to go back to that place. I think it was the other Korea to be quite frank with you.”
Secretary Pompeo seemed oddly disappointed. “North Korea, I don’t think that place had any food at all. We tried to order some delivery from Seoul, but the delivery guy had some problems getting through DMZ. Don’t think they heard from him again ha ha ha,” he commented.
“Listen, at the end of the day, I just want those meats. Gimme those juicy meats. I couldn’t care less about nuclear capabilities. I want that sweet bulgogi.”
Pompeo stormed out of the room in search of a takeout menu, but didn’t find anything quite to his liking, nothing like he had experienced in South Korea.
Photo by Gage Skidmore || CC-BY-2.0