Iran Deal Shocker: Trump Says He’s The Best At Pulling Out, Turns And Silently Stares Down Daughter Tiffany
Washington, DC -- President Donald Trump claimed earlier today he is “the best at pulling out,” but immediately turned and sat in silence as he looked over daughter Tiffany Trump for an awkward half-hour in front of the White House press corps.
“Let me tell you something, this Iran deal. This Iran deal, sheesh. Who negotiated this? Barack Obama? It’s terrible. We lose. People say they can tell the United States what to do, that’s what I hear them saying in other countries. These people think they’ll just run us over. We don’t make deals like that anymore, I tell you,” Trump announced.
“You are dealing with the best dealmaker alive. Nobody makes better dealsthan I do. No. Body. So let’s see and maybe we can make a better deal where we win. We will win again. Winning. That’s all we do now. Win, win, win. So, I’m going to pull out of this now. Now. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. I am the best at pulling out, probably the best ever in history at pulling out.”
He then immediately jerked his head toward his family sitting to the side of press row. The president began to stare down daughter Tiffany Trump, who was visiting her father for one of the bi-yearly visitations agreed to in an earlier accord, a deal President Trump has called “a winner.” He did not flinch or blink during the next half-hour, despite the occasional sounds of a reporter’s question and the distant screams of Chief of Staff John Kelly.
President Trump then backed out of the room slowly, not removing his gaze from the lockdown with Tiffany’s cherubic face.