Pence Surprised, Oddly Intrigued By How Phallic Guns Are At NRA Convention Speech
Dallas, TX -- Vice President Mike Pence seemed very distracted during his planned speech in front of the annual NRA Convention crowd earlier today, as the second-in-command seemed easily distracted, at times staring blankly at the large powerful guns displayed all around him.
Pence’s remarks were to begin at 2pm sharp, however he did not begin speaking until a good forty minutes after the scheduled start time. “He was really looking these guns up and down, I tell you,” attendee Chet Moonsour noticed. “I don’t know if he’s ever been in a room with so many guns before, but he seemed very intrigued. Like real interested.”
The straight-laced Pence had to sit for a while after his time was up. “He just sat there in a chair backstage. His wife tried to talk to him, but he shooed her away. His mind and body were just elsewhere,” Chet recalled.
The annual NRA convention is known to have this sort of effect on white evangelical closeted conservative men. But not a man as straight as Pence seemingly is.
Pence and his wife Karen had no comment, but Chet is still talking.