New Trump Lawyer Emmet Flood Set To Begin Search For Newer Trump Lawyer
Washington, DC -- President Donald Trump today hired former Bill Clinton impeachment lawyer Emmet Flood to replace now-former lawyer Ty Cobb, and the new lawyer is immediately tasked with the job of finding his replacement.
“I’ll tell you, I’ve had some real doozies in my day. You might say I’ve never seen a case I didn’t like. So that’s why I’m here. Just show me the entrance and the exit. I’ve told our president I will find him the best next lawyer out there. If I can’t do it, well then there simply isn’t another lawyer who would take this job,” Emmet told Robert Mueller’s team of investigators who were immediately outside his home after the announcement of his hire was released.
“Apparently I’ve got a bullseye on me already, that’s not a problem, there’s a sucker born every minute and I’m going to find him. Or her. But most likely a ‘him’ as the president has indicated is preferred.”
The search has begun. “I was looking on LinkedIn, I figured I’d type in ‘lawyer’ and see what comes up. Started messaging people. Waiting for some replies. What am I doing with my life?”