Sobbing Sarah Huckabee Sanders Barely Able To Lie About Mexicans Today Following White House Correspondents Dinner Jokes
Washington, DC -- In her first public appearance since taking a ribbing at the recent White House Correspondents’ dinner, a shaky and at times uncontrollably sobbing White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders could barely hold it together when lying about comments President Donald Trump made about Mexicans.
“And these, these, these Mexicans are coming in caravans and as the president said, they are looking to terrorize our communities...and...and...I just can’t,” the tearful spokesperson said today. “I’m shook. I’m shook.”
Presidential advisor Stephen Miller was seen consoling Huckabee Sanders off to the side of the press room. The two are known to be close, and the balding thirty-something-year-old was reportedly incensed by this year’s dinner host Michelle Wolf and her benign comments about Huckabee Sanders’ smokey eye makeup.
“The president fully supports ICE and our border patrol in putting an end to all of these assaults and disgusting acts going on in and around the caravans. They...they...oh man, my smokey eye makeup is running now. Geez. I can’t even get through a couple of sentences about Mexicans. I’m just not myself today.”