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New Facebook Dating Service To Offer Russian Mail Order Brides Who Will Totally Not At All Change Your Privacy Settings

New Facebook Dating Service To Offer Russian Mail Order Brides Who Will Totally Not At All Change Your Privacy Settings

Menlo Park, CA -- A nervous Facebook chief Mark Zuckerberg announced the creation of a new Facebook dating service, in which millions of Russian mail order brides will arrive directly inside of your house and “absolutely never touch the privacy settings on all of your electronic devices and apps.”

 

Zuckerberg and Facebook have recently come under fire for allowing Cambridge Analytica to take the personal information from most of its users and influence the 2016 United States presidential elections. The Russians are already looking ahead to 2020.

 

“Our Facebook dating will revolutionize how you connect with someone. You won’t even need to give consent to use this app, maybe you are married, for example, and you’re not even looking for someone. We’ll send someone over anyway,” a sweating Zuckerberg said as several large Russian men in suits stood nearby.

 

The new dating service aims to launch by the end of this year, or perhaps they’re already in your apartment now? Maybe they know you’re reading this. Maybe they see everything.

 

 

Photo by JD Lasica from Pleasanton, CA, US  ||  CC-BY-2.0

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Doughy Slow White Guy Has Better Poise And Intangibles Than Athletic Electric Darker Quarterback

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