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Letters from Melania: Lying Donald

Letters from Melania: Lying Donald

Dear Ludmilla.

 

I have to tell you I am very upset, today. I just discovered that my husband has been lying about being a billionaire. At least, he lied to get his name into the Forbes 400 Richest People list in 1984. You remember that year, yes? When we were 14 and dancing to Cyndi Lauper at the Marshall Tito Youth Fulfillment and Moral Growth Hall? Yes, doing the Curly Shuffle.

 

While we were innocently strutting our stuff, Donald was making phone calls pretending to be his own publicist. He’s too cheap to hire someone to lie for him, you know. Anyway, as John Barron, he claimed all his father’s wealth had passed to him. Always lying about the size of … his wallet.

 

I ask you, he has had so much practice lying, why isn’t he better at it?

 

Thank you for the list of countries that the US has no extradition treaty with. It will be very useful soon I am sure, but until I know exactly how big my half of “everything” is, I will be staying in America. I would hate to get somewhere and find myself a half billion or so short.

 

Love,

Melania

 

 
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Melania Irks Husband With ‘Full Bush’ Tribute To Barbara

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