New Trump Lawyer Rudy Giuliani Taking Six-Month Hiatus From Ice Road Trucking Company To Tackle America’s Most Dangerous Job
Anchorage, AK -- Former New York City mayor and United States attorney Rudy Giuliani has given two weeks notice to his partners in the ice road trucking company he founded several years ago and informed them he intends to immediately take on a more notoriously dangerous occupation -- Donald Trump lawyer.
The stunning admission left shares of the company at an all-time low as investors worry his departure will take away one of the best damn truckers the company has. “Rudy doesn’t see danger coming. And yet he averts it. He is not scared of anything and certainly not afraid of the inevitability of life’s end. Which is why we can only assume he wanted this job on Trump’s legal team. It seems to be a can’t-win situation,” said Rudy Trucking partner Max Schweertzi.
“This seems crazy and dangerous and he might get tossed into prison with the rest of Trump’s lawyers. Navigating every twist and turn of the Mueller investigation is tough. I don’t know how he gets out of this one unscathed.”
Giuliani was less worried. “I embarrassed myself so much since I was mayor during 9/11 that I just thought...wait, did I say I was the mayor during 9/11? Can you write that down?” he told us during a one-on-one interview this morning.
“I just thought, what do I have to lose at this point. I’m running on empty. I’m driving trucks in Alaska. I don’t care anymore.”
Photo by Gage Skidmore || CC-BY-2.0