John Kelly: Trump Mistakenly Insisted Direct North Korea Talks Had Begun After Placing His Order With Tiny Waiter at Mar-a-Lago
Palm Beach, Florida -- White House Chief of Staff John Kelly personally apologized to several Asian heads of state today for Donald Trump insisting direct talks with North Korea had begun, despite the Mar-a-Lago waiter insisting he was just trying to take his lunch order before the shift ended.
“I just wanted to go home. It was almost 4pm. Yes I am tiny. I’m not even Asian. My wife says I look like a young Michael J. Fox. I don’t look anything like Kim Jong Un. Not sure what the president was thinking,” said Mar-a-Lago restaurant employee Matt Trayger. “Did he want the fish? Or the chicken? It’s not that tough, we only have two options in the banquet hall.”
The president’s chief of staff Kelly had the usual egg on his face. “I’ve apologized to Prime Minister Abe and to other prime ministers and to any prime ministers I haven’t gotten to yet or forgot, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” said an agitated and sweaty Kelly.
“The president has in fact not spoken with Kim Jong Un, but who’s to say what will happen next? I certainly never know. I feel like in an hour maybe I’m on the phone with the leader of Albania apologizing to him and his wife, who knows. I sure don’t.”
Kelly also insisted the president did want the chicken, but was given the fish.