Melania's Message To Ludmilla: Melania from Slovenia
I have just a few minutes to tell you about this week’s excitement. First, Donald’s lawyer had a visit from the FBI who took all his records. I overheard a call from Cohen, the lawyer, where he was trying to calm Donnie down. Apparently, they had opened a laundry service in Russia because ruble notes collect dirt easily. At least, that what I think currency laundering means.
And then, John Bolton arrived as the new National Security Advisor. Donald wouldn’t make him Secretary of State because of his ridiculous white mustache. Frankly, I think Donald is right. Bolton looks too much like Dr. Seuss’ Lorax to be taken seriously.
Friday we bombed Syria, which surprised me – I didn’t think there would be anything left to bomb after all these years. But the boys were all excited. Donald was strutting around the White House saying, “Yeah, War-Time President” over and over. Defense Secretary Mathis watched quietly, mumbling “God help us next time.” Meanwhile, The Lorax was actually doing some kind of war dance and shrieking “Hit ‘em again, hit ‘em again, har-der, har-der.”
Normally, I wouldn’t ask, but the Secret Service has me pretty well isolated. Have you seen Ivanka or Jared on TV in the last few weeks? It’s like they have vanished. It’s probably nothing.