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Mike Pompeo Excited To Begin Process Of Being Forced By President Trump To Resign Disgracefully As Secretary Of State

Mike Pompeo Excited To Begin Process Of Being Forced By President Trump To Resign Disgracefully As Secretary Of State

Washington, DC -- As Mike Pompeo was grilled throughout his senate hearing today, the would-be Secretary of State could not escape the thought he would someday hold the esteemed cabinet position in which someday he would be forced to resign disgracefully and someday, really any day now, would be sent home to Kansas.

 

“Wow, it’s pretty cold in here. They keep it crisp in the senate halls. In Congress, it was warmer I think,” thought Pompeo. “Anyway, isn’t it crazy how we got here down this path. From small-time congressman to CIA director to Secretary of State to resigning in shame from politics and moving back home to live with my parents’ guest room. Can’t wait for the impending doom.”

 

 Pompeo was optimistic about his destiny. “It’s not all bad right, I might get to meet Kim Jong Un. That’d be cool. And I did get to torture some people last year. Eh, it’s worth it.”

 

Several senators looked befuddled and stopped the hearing numerous times as Pompeo appear to gaze off into the distance. Democratic senators are on record with The Flake News that they will approve Pompeo’s nomination to see just what the heck happens to him.“

 

Will be kinda fun to see how this one goes wrong. He’s one of Trump’s biggest supporters, but that didn’t stop Sessions from getting on his bad side. It’s like Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead, fun to predict how someone goes,” said one bald-headed unnamed senator from New Jersey.

 

 

Photo by Gage Skidmore  ||  CC-BY-2.0

Trump Evangelicals Praise Pee Tape As Final Step Before Apocalypse

Trump Evangelicals Praise Pee Tape As Final Step Before Apocalypse

Mark Zuckerberg Spiked National Enquirer Story About Awkward Space Alien Abducting 87 Million Users

Mark Zuckerberg Spiked National Enquirer Story About Awkward Space Alien Abducting 87 Million Users