Congressional Hearing: Privacy Settings Lax As Sobbing Mark Zuckerberg Admits Having Seen Naked Devin Nunes
Washington, DC -- Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg confided he has indeed seen Representative Devin Nunes’ naked body as he admitted privacy settings on the social media Goliath are out of control.
“How can I unsee that? We don’t have a button for that,” the exasperated richest man on earth shouted at today’s congressional hearing. “I asked Sheryl Sandberg how in the world I was able to see that in my feed. There are no answers. No answers.”
Zuckerberg continued to stare out the committee halls as congressmen pelted him with question-after-question, but it was obviously Nunes’blubbery hairless pale white physique that was all he could think about. He was consumed by the thought of one day seeing it again, not in his dreams, but in his reality, right there in front of him on his Facebook feed.
“I will not allow this to happen again. Controls will be fixed. Settings will be replaced. Fire will scorch the land and out of its ashes will not rise any bare pictures of Devin Nunes.”
Zuckerberg was not available for comment after the hearings and will never speak of this again.
Photo by Brian Solis || CC-BY-2.0