Sarah Huckabee Sanders Defends Whiteness Of 'Merit-Based' White House Internships, Says Only Parents' Campaign Donations Considered
Washington, DC -- A combative White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders claimed the overwhelming whiteness of the current administration’s internships is completely merit-based, saying only the number of zeros in parents’ bank accounts was considered.
“To even question these intern selections is absurd. We’re not similar to past administrations who cared more about the color of someone’s skin or their ethnicity, we don’t see color. No affirmative action here, our process gave us the best unpaid labor with the most wealthy families,” a giddy Sanders stated.
“It’s all merit-based. Like how good is your dad’s job? Is he a likely donor to the 2020 campaign? We started there and found only the most amazing conservative students.”
White House Chief of Staff John Kelly agreed, saying while he did serve in the armed forces with many talented minorities, most of them simply don’t come from old money. “It’s just by chance, not institutional of anything. Random, ya know?”