Schlubby Recently Divorced Tom 'Not Exactly Thrilled' To Hear Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson Depression Admission
Seattle, WA -- Schlubby and down-on-his luck Seattle resident Tom Nordmeyer is “not exactly thrilled” handsome action star Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson admitted to suffering from bouts of depression, Tom told us via the last pay phone in town today.
“Where does this leave me? I’ve been wondering what the point of all of this is, I’m now alone, no kids, no significant other, not much in the bank. Was there a point to any of this? So even if I was filthy rich and famous and 'The Rock', I still wouldn’t be really happy. What are we doing here?” asked a beleaguered Tom.
“The Rock is depressed. His beautiful wife and kids and pile of money is not enough? It sucks he wasn’t asked to do every single motion picture of 2018, only asked to headline about twelve of them? Why am I waking up in the morning to go to work. It’s an endless cycle leading to nowhere. Anyone can suffer from the gloominess of life, this is the proof I was waiting for.”
Tom is resigned to his fate. “Nobody is going to remember me. There’s no point to any of this. Now that I know ‘The Rock’ is depressed, there is no hope.”