Hope Hicks Enjoying Quieter More Stable Life In 1920s Manhattan Opium Den
New York, NY -- Former White House Communications Director Hope Hicks is now living a more quiet and stable life, out of the eye of the public inside a 1920’s Manhattan Opium Den, according to several reports this morning.
How Hicks ended up in 1920s Manhattan is unknown as of this publishing, but she seems to be adapting well to her surroundings. Witnesses describe “a naked woman escaping from some sort of dark wormhole” and immediately demanding a horse drawn carriage to trot her down to the nearest opium den in Chinatown.
She reportedly arrived with billions of worthless 2018 Russian rubles which the den’s caretaker did not accept. She somehow later was able to curry favor with the owner by promising presidential pardons from Warren G. Harding.
When contacted by The Flake News, President Donald Trump, who has been known for his strident war on the current opium epidemic, showed support for his former assistant Hicks. “I think Hopie is just doing what China and the immigrants down there are supporting and, believe me, she knows what she’s doing and North Korea and NAFTA coal miners.”
Picture by ©️GirlHenryRollins2018