Bolton Replacing McMaster Signals Beginning Of A New Paleozoic Era
Washington, DC -- Hawkish former Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton is set to replace current National Security Advisor H. R. McMaster, in a move that sets the stage for a return to the Paleozoic Era of old.
Bolton, long known for his strong feelings against United States foes North Korea and Iran, had been looking forward to the opportunity to “bomb the world back to the stone ages,” but with his new increased powers will instead now aim for something between the Mesozoic and Neoproterozoic eras.
“As you know, I’m big history buff and I’ve always wanted to travel back in time. We all know that’s only something of fantasy and in the movies but I’m going to do my best in this new role to take us all the back in time with impending nuclear war,” Bolton said this morning through his mustache.
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