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Mustachioed Mark Zuckerberg Claiming To Be ‘Hector Ramirez’ Vows To Notify Users After He Has Stolen Their Identities And Moved To Private Island

Mustachioed Mark Zuckerberg Claiming To Be ‘Hector Ramirez’ Vows To Notify Users After He Has Stolen Their Identities And Moved To Private Island

Menlo Park, CA -- Wearing a set of Groucho Marx glasses, a ridiculously disguised Mark Zuckerberg claiming to be ‘Facebook Director of Directors Hector Ramirez’ claimed the company would always notify users after he has stolen their data and moved permanently to his private island with enough cash to last a lifetime.

 

The stunning admission comes in the wake of a growing scandal involving key 2016 Presidential Election player Cambridge Analytics. Zuckerberg, or ‘Hector Ramirez’ as he repeatedly stated, assured users their data would not be stolen by anyone in the future except for “maybe a company owner or two.”

 

The man in the mustache and ridiculous eyebrows then took the battery out of his burner phone, smashed the device on the ground and ran into a waiting golf cart at the company’s headquarters and slowly drove away.

 

 

Photo by Guillaume Paumier  ||  CC-BY

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