Lindsey Graham Sensually Warns Trump To Keep His Small Rough Hands Off Baby Smooth Mueller

Washington, DC -- Senator Lindsey Graham warned President Donald Trump to keep his “small and rough hands” off the “baby smooth skin” of special prosecutor Robert Mueller, during an impassioned speech in the Capitol today.

Graham, long known as a pragmatic and reasonable man, longed for Trumpto not lay a finger “on this man.” The senator had several aides fanning him with their hands throughout the fervent diatribe.

In the end, Graham urged for unity, wondering if Mueller had some time this upcoming Wednesday to perhaps grab a bite to eat or whatever.

Photo by Gage Skidmore / CC-BY-2.0