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Defensive Trump Says New Tariffs On Russian Pee Pee Tapes Are In America's Best Interest

Defensive Trump Says New Tariffs On Russian Pee Pee Tapes Are In America's Best Interest

Washington, DC -- A cocksure President Donald Trump today guaranteed the American public would definitely understand his new tariff edict on incoming “Russian Pee Pee Tapes” is in their best interest had they viewed his salacious recordings.

 

The president announced the new tariffs during a whirlwind morning in the White House. Some sources speculated the tariffs were initiated to pick a fight and begin a trade war with Russia, but the president assured the public today that he just doesn’t think they would enjoy his tapes.

 

“Look, these tapes don’t exist, but they do and I am going to slap some tariffs on there,” the president said while doodling and trying desperately to stay within the lines of his adult coloring book. “Tariffs are good, trade wars are easy, and pee pee tapes are hard work especially if you’re one of my favorite prostitutes in St. Petersburg.”

 

 

Photo by UrbanPromise + Flickr / CC-BY-2.0

Deal Reached To End West Virginia Teacher Strike That Threatened The Progress Of All Three State Honors Students

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U.S. Olympic Committee Blames Low Metal Count On Iron Deficiency

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