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U.S. Olympic Committee Blames Low Metal Count On Iron Deficiency

U.S. Olympic Committee Blames Low Metal Count On Iron Deficiency

Colorado Springs, CO -- United States Olympic Committee CEO Scott Blackmun blamed the team’s low metal count on an iron deficiency during a closed door one-on-one interview Sunday morning.

 

“What don’t you understand, I am proud of all our athletes and don’t think there was a problem with our country’s medal haul. You keep asking about metals instead, I’m not sure what this has to do with athletics,” said a defiant Blackmun from his offices. “If there was a problem with metal inside the athlete’s bodies as you keep insisting there was, which by the way I haven’t heard from any other news outlets or our doctors, then ok maybe there’s some kind of iron deficiency,” Blackmun admitted after hours of interrogation in his office.

 

Our interview abruptly ended after this reporter finally got Blackmun to go on record admitting there might be a metal problem. We got what we wanted.

 

 

Left Photo by U.S. Armyy + Flickr / CC-BY-2.0l

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