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Report: New Set of Curtains Won’t Hide The Strain in Your Relationship From Your Neighbors

Report: New Set of Curtains Won’t Hide The Strain in Your Relationship From Your Neighbors

Ann Arbor, MI -- Your girlfriend brought home the darkest curtains the store had, but it won’t hide the very apparent pain and tension of the relationship from your neighbors, this according to several close sources.

 

Previously, the windows had no curtains. But it was time to hide behind some flimsy pieces of cloth, to hide the tattered remains of what was once a great union. Alas, there is no fooling your neighbors. They are wise to the destruction of this former transcendental love and the looks they give you in the hallway and by the mailboxes are more than enough to see this.

 

Yes, the curtains are lovely and machine washable, but they, like your feelings for each other, will at some point reach their expiration and be discarded in the trash like yesterday news.

 

By the way, please check out our archives to read yesterday’s news...

 

 
Confused Ivanka Trump Regrets Dismissing South Korean Medalists As Bitter Unpaid Handbag Sweatshop Workers At Closing Ceremonies

Confused Ivanka Trump Regrets Dismissing South Korean Medalists As Bitter Unpaid Handbag Sweatshop Workers At Closing Ceremonies

New Gun Control Poll Reveals It Probably Wasn’t The Greatest Idea To Call Gun Owners After Midnight

New Gun Control Poll Reveals It Probably Wasn’t The Greatest Idea To Call Gun Owners After Midnight