Sources: Carter Page Product of Now-Defunct Putin Kremlin Human-Penis Hybrid Program
Moscow, Russia -- Carter Page is in fact a secret Kremlin agent, but additionally the product of a secret President Vladimir Putin-ordered 1980’s human-penis hybrid program, reports indicated today.
Reports of Page’s birth year of 1971 and birthplace in Minneapolis are false, as he was created in a lab somewhere between 1981 and 1983 by a team of scientists directly reporting to a young hotshot KGB officer --Vladimir Putin.
The disgraced Donald Trump foreign policy advisor was expected to eventually plead guilty, however his existence in this human-penis hybrid program now adds a few new scrotum wrinkles to this odyssey.
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