Despondent Chain-Smoking Obama Delivers Backyard State of the Union Response to Cold, Sleepy Michelle and Sasha
Washington, DC -- Former President Barack Obama delivered a fiery and at times rambling response to Donald Trump’s State of the Union address, in front of a freezing and bleary-eyed Michelle and Sasha last night at their private residence.
The backyard patio bluster was striking in its conciliatory tone, contrasting President Trump’s nativist rhetoric. Obama went through about half a pack of Newports during the hour-long retort, frequently scanning his phone for Twitter updates mid-speech.
Michelle and Sasha had already begun to wind down for the evening, with each removing makeup and heading to their respective beds, but the frustrated former leader of the free world wasn’t having it, asking both to join him outside immediately.