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Gym Member Runs Out Of Body Wash And Substitutes Shampoo, Defends Position With Baby Smooth Skin

Gym Member Runs Out Of Body Wash And Substitutes Shampoo, Defends Position With Baby Smooth Skin

Los Angeles, CA -- Crunch gym member Craig Hoyser faced a dilemma earlier this morning as his body wash dwindled during a shower at the Sunset location of the popular chain. That’s when Mr. Hoyser sprung into action, finishing the lower half of his body with his Herbal Essences shampoo featuring Moroccan argan oil.

 

“I think the results speak for themselves,” said an excited Hoyser at his work cubicle later on in the day. “Feel these,” he demanded as this reporter put a hand on the silky smooth calves under Hoyser’s rolled up khakis.

 

“It’s gotta be the argan oil or something but I just feel so moisturized and ready to face the day here at Project Veritas’ Los Angeles offices.” Was this all a sting or perhaps something different, this reporter wondered as the hand slid further up Hoyser’s legs, almost as if they were covered in butter and my hand was a fresh croissant, melting in each other’s crevices.

 

“James isn’t around today, he’s still hanging in Alabama,” Hoyser blurted out as his eyes locked toward the floor, not able to look up at this reporter any longer. Was he afraid to go down this path together or was this still part of some poorly planned media sting in which he had lost control and everything was becoming all too real?

 

Alas, this reporter would never find out, or at least not today as the sheepish Hoyser darted out of the room upon reaching a boiling point, calling this reporter a ‘flake’ and ‘cuck’ as he marched those creamy white legs down the hall and out of view, perhaps forever.

 

 

Left Photo by janeb13 /  Pixabay + CC0 Creative Commons  ||  Right Photo by Gage Skidmore / CC-BY-3.0

UberPool Rider Terrorized By Loss Of Personal Space When Large Backpack Enters Ride

UberPool Rider Terrorized By Loss Of Personal Space When Large Backpack Enters Ride

Cute Unlikely Animal Friendship Ends In Horror As Duckling Devours Labrador

Cute Unlikely Animal Friendship Ends In Horror As Duckling Devours Labrador